Carol Neithardt Reeves

My breast cancer was discovered via Mammogram. My Ob/Gyn examined me the day before my surgery so I could get a Pap smear and she kept saying "Carol, Thank God for Mammograms, Thank God for Mammograms!" She had a copy of the Mammogram and was looking for the lump by using it as a map and could not find it no matter how hard she tried. I do thank God for Mammograms! Because of my choice of doctors, we use Presbyterian Hospital exclusively. They do something called a Breast Cancer Clinic each week on Tues. and see 4 patients only on that day for 3-4 hours. They review all your history and collectively decide what the patients' treatment should be. Then each dr. plus a nurse and a volunteer from Amer. Cancer and a dietician each comes to each patient and talks with them about their case and theirs only. I was, after seeing all of the people involved, declared The Poster Child of The Day for that day. I met the doctor who designed this special clinic as one of the surgeons - he happened to be the partner of the surgeon who was to do my surgery. I met Dr. Donna Girard, who is one of the Radiologists at Presbyterian and I selected her as my radiologist. I also met a medical oncologist who left his practice to do research right after I had chosen him, so I asked my surgeon to recommend one for me. I went to this particular one and didn't like him at all, so I asked my primary care physician to transfer me to his favorite one and my husband and I both like him very much. His name is Jonathan Levine. I also met a chemo doctor, but we didn't discuss chemo because they recommended that I NOT do it. They all felt that the size and ease of location of the lump (8 mm) was such that I could go with just a lumpectomy and then have a newer procedure called a MammoSite for my radiation. It was done about 10 days after my surgery, and I had two 7-minute treatments each day for 5 days and that was all that was required. It was decided that I should not use the medicine Arimidex due to my having arthritis because it is known to cause joint pain. This is not advice, just information. I was given Aromasin instead, but have to take it for 5 years, like most of the medicines. I had met the reconstruction doctor as well, but he just came in and congratulated me on my ease of treatment by not having to have my breast removed and was the one who labeled me The Poster Child.

One of the most important things I have learned about having breast cancer is that I must realize that this happens to a lot of people and they live through it all just fine. Most who have it might have more complications than I did, but they live through all of it just fine, too. One thing I learned from hearing Dr. Richard White speak at our meeting this week was the statistics of chemo and the fact that it should be very carefully considered. I would certainly get at least 2 opinions if I was told I needed it. His talk showed us that most chemo doesn't do as much as they thought it would when making the choice. Conversely, I would surely do what my doctor recommends.

I had no symptoms and have been having Mammograms every year since I turned 40 (29 years) except one year when I had other health problems and kept waiting to get over all of them. The fact that the year I skipped the Mammogram was last year had no bearing on the discovery of the cancer because the doctors and radiologist felt that it would have been too small to detect. I was really having guilt feelings until they told me that, having always had them in my birthday month. I did have one lymph node involved and it was removed, but my surgeon was not concerned about it, just being cautious. I'll probably always wonder about that, but I trust him since he is head of the Surgery Dept. at Presbyterian.

The things I have learned are mostly mental stuff. I pray more. I have read the Bible from cover to cover since the discovery, because I had always wanted to do that and had put it off. It was not buying time or healthy or miracles, just a desire to have read it all. I have a very long prayer list now and I am very faithful about using it every day, plus keeping in touch with a lot more of my friends who have had similar problems. I am much more attentive to the people I care about. I am much more loyal and attentive to my immediate family. I treasure all the people I have spoken with about breast cancer, ones who have had it, ones who have it and ones who are true survivors. I stay up late at night sometimes, writing letters to friends and family members about whom my husband and I care. I send cards to people more often because it meant so much to me to receive the many I got. I try to constantly go the 2nd mile to be a better person and be more thoughtful. I wear pink almost constantly and wear many pink bracelets and cancer affiliated jewelry and hats so that people will comment on them. That starts the conversation towards breast cancer and I make certain that each woman I know has had a Mammogram each year. If they can't afford to have one, I have found the name of a group that does them free of charge and give that name to the ones who need it. I love more strongly. I listen to inspirational music and TV shows more often because I care about life more. I feel better about myself because I care more and I am more thoughtful to others. I give people things often, small things like pink plastic bracelets and slips of paper with positive messages. I tell everyone about Carolina Breast Friends and invite them to attend. I treasure the faces I see there. I see such joy and such an aura of positiveness in these womens' faces.

I'll send  a picture of me right after my husband and I had walked The Race for The Cure last fall. We decided to always do that race and we are doing one tomorrow sponsored by our son's church. He is in charge of it and that makes me proud. The money will all go to Susan G. Komen Foundation and that's so important. I found out after doing The Race for The Cure, that besides my husband and myself putting our friend's name on our back to honor her memory, one of my friends, who is a member of the sorority that Susan and her sister belonged to, wore my name on her back in my honor. It almost did me in when she called and told me. She ran the whole race for the first time, though she has been a member of the sorority for many years, just for me!! What a gift!! I'll never, ever forget that of her. Those kinds of gifts are the most important things I've learned by having breast cancer. I hate it when I see that someone has died because of it, but I pray for their souls and I pray again for their souls and that others won't have to die because of it.

I treasure my full-time husband, without whom I could not exist very well. He helped me through it all and still does. Our daughter helped us tremendously. We never miss a day without talking now. I hope some day that our son and we will have that happen as well. It shows and makes us know that our daughter really, really cares and will always care. Our grandchildren give me little pink things and send me notes and cards sometimes. At my birthday when our 13 year old granddaughter made a special handwritten and drawn note for me and put a pink satin bow on it in the Breast Cancer shape. A girlfriend gave me a lovely Brighton bracelet with BC stuff on the charms and a little heart-shaped watch with a pink face on it for Christmas. She's not a very demonstrative person, and that made it more special.
Those are the lessons I've learned, to appreciate and notice them.